2022-03-08

We got into another fight today.

I was playing game and missed her messages for 2hours. I had told her I was busy working, which was the truth, until i finished the work and started that game. She was super upset. This is not the first time it happened. I feel like a slave to this phone. 

She said before that she can't rely on me on the house renovation. Every group chat she replied before I could even look at it. Then it became "you are not interested in this" kind of accusation, or rather, I feel accused of being irresponsive and irresponsible. Similarly, when shopping for funitures, appliances, I go for convenience whereas she will always look for the best deals in town - again, low effort. 

I'm a simple man, I don't have many preferences for food, clothing, etc. I thought that would make my life easier. That is until she came along and the way she criticizes me made feel inadequate. I need to be the man that she can "rely on", and dress well, say the right things, have preferences, knowledgable, do my research. For me, life is too short to overload my brain with unncessary information - how to choose the best bed, best gate, best floor, best wall, best tile, best of all shit. Knowledge. But that is not wisdom. 

I'd rather not waste my life on doing all those just to save a few hundred dollars on necessities, items that I will definitely use, items that definitely will be replaced cos they don't last, what for I waste my time on those -_-